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Sat, Jun. 24th, 2006, 10:29 am

RedHerring1029 (8:40:18 AM): so what were you trying to say when the call disconnected?
ShaverRob (8:41:30 AM): I just wanted to make make sure that u werent really pissed off or something-u said "whatever" really dejected like
RedHerring1029 (8:42:23 AM): it was a text message. dont read too much into it. and i am pissed off, but at the world in general
RedHerring1029 (8:42:39 AM): not at you any more than anything else
ShaverRob (8:43:26 AM): that doesn't make me feel better
ShaverRob (8:43:44 AM): in fact that just sounds bad
ShaverRob (8:44:24 AM): I suppose I could try to get over there today on my own if that would help
RedHerring1029 (8:45:35 AM): no, thats not what im mad about. i could really care less when/if you come over. in fact im not entirely sure i want to see you or talk to you, or anyone else either these days
ShaverRob (8:46:13 AM): see thats not good
ShaverRob (8:46:40 AM): whatn would u like mne to do
RedHerring1029 (8:47:42 AM): um, nothing. im not asking you to do anything
ShaverRob (8:47:59 AM): ok
ShaverRob (8:48:28 AM): so I guess Ill talk to u later
RedHerring1029 (8:48:59 AM): fine, fuck off
ShaverRob (8:49:11 AM): hey wait a minute
ShaverRob (8:49:31 AM): u said there was nothing I could do
ShaverRob (8:49:41 AM): so what do u want
RedHerring1029 (8:50:01 AM): i just want to hate you for a while
ShaverRob (8:52:26 AM): tommy u know this isnt healthy
ShaverRob (8:53:05 AM): ok im going
“ShaverRob” signed off at 8:53:10 AM.
“ShaverRob” signed on at 9:07:37 AM.
ShaverRob (9:09:02 AM): hi
RedHerring1029 (9:09:08 AM): hey
ShaverRob (9:09:24 AM): so whatsup
RedHerring1029 (9:10:03 AM): well, im sorry i flew off the handle, but in all fairness i am pretty angry
ShaverRob (9:10:15 AM): ok
ShaverRob (9:10:44 AM): explain your anger more
RedHerring1029 (9:11:27 AM): *freindly warning* if you start sounding like a therapist then i am gone. but having said that...
ShaverRob (9:11:53 AM): lol
RedHerring1029 (9:13:16 AM): you really pissed me off when you said we werent meant to be. that really really stung and was a weird and stupid thing to say since it ascribes our fate to some third party. its not about what fate or destiny or whatever says, its about if we loved one another, and chalking it up to "meant to be's" is really passive
ShaverRob (9:13:55 AM): i dont beleive in fate
RedHerring1029 (9:14:10 AM): well then what the hell did meant to be mean?
RedHerring1029 (9:14:39 AM): and yes you do, its all related to that weird "if were meant to be together it will work out in the end thing"
ShaverRob (9:16:19 AM): I think our relationship waas founded on insecurities that we had in association with the culture shock of college, like lot of people. We broke up when we lost those insecurities. Unfourtanetly, after that you ended the year with a lot more while I didnt.
ShaverRob (9:17:01 AM): Im not interested in getting back together
RedHerring1029 (9:17:13 AM): eneither am i
ShaverRob (9:17:39 AM): but do u agree with what I said
RedHerring1029 (9:17:46 AM): no
ShaverRob (9:17:56 AM): ok, why not
RedHerring1029 (9:20:55 AM): we were together becuase we made eachother happy for a time. after a while i think you got sick of me and i got a little bit sick of you. the pregnancy scare was certainly a creepy time for us both, and in the end i think we broke up (or actually i guess you dumped me) because i couldent handle the fact that you were asking for a huge commitment from me while i was not seeing any emotional commitment from you.
RedHerring1029 (9:21:15 AM): thus, chris
ShaverRob (9:22:39 AM): I think our theories are mutually compatable
RedHerring1029 (9:23:29 AM): did you ever have any emotional attachment to me?
ShaverRob (9:23:41 AM): yes
ShaverRob (9:23:59 AM): would u call it love, in hindsight, no
ShaverRob (9:24:24 AM): but at the time yes, cause I didnt know what it was
RedHerring1029 (9:24:35 AM): so what was it?
ShaverRob (9:25:46 AM): attachment of some kind that was difenernt that anything I had with anyone else
ShaverRob (9:26:42 AM): Its kind of hard to say at this point
RedHerring1029 (9:26:50 AM): why?
ShaverRob (9:27:04 AM): cause I dont have it anymore

ShaverRob (9:27:14 AM): sorry
ShaverRob (9:28:04 AM): hello?
RedHerring1029 (9:28:14 AM): yeah im still here
ShaverRob (9:28:45 AM): so, anything to add
ShaverRob (9:29:17 AM): Hello?
RedHerring1029 (9:29:22 AM): yeah yeah
ShaverRob (9:29:29 AM): thinking?
RedHerring1029 (9:29:34 AM): mhm
ShaverRob (9:29:50 AM): should we do this later?
RedHerring1029 (9:30:05 AM): no, might as well get it over with
ShaverRob (9:30:11 AM): ok
ShaverRob (9:30:27 AM): your turn....
RedHerring1029 (9:30:41 AM): i think....
RedHerring1029 (9:32:19 AM): you came along and we stayed together cause i trusted you, and i rarely trust anyone. you asked for real commitment but i wasnt getting any kind of emotional commitment from you, and it wasnt even clear some of the time that you cared wether i was there at all.
RedHerring1029 (9:33:50 AM): so when chris came along and made it clear that he did want me it became very hard to justify staying with you, who didnt really care, and losing a chance with someone who did. and plus which if you did care you would have made a whole lot more of an effort to stay with me. as it was it felt like you had been waiting for an excuse to break up with me anyway.
ShaverRob (9:34:33 AM): I dont think thats fair
ShaverRob (9:35:30 AM): I think I did quite a bit (or ignored alot of bad things) to try and stay together
RedHerring1029 (9:36:00 AM): as did i (ignoring a lot of bad, that is)
ShaverRob (9:36:31 AM): and I dont understand how u could say that chris gave you more attachment than me
ShaverRob (9:36:50 AM): explain "bad"
RedHerring1029 (9:37:49 AM): i said a chance with someone who cared, you forget, in the big scheme im not looking for attachment since i dont offer it myself. it only became an issue since you wanted me to be committed
RedHerring1029 (9:38:12 AM): and you explain your bad first.
ShaverRob (9:39:32 AM): I mean't how u cheated on me I and was willing to take you back, regardless
ShaverRob (9:40:49 AM): and how did chris "care" I thought that he revealed himself at the end of the year. and don't say I didn't care
ShaverRob (9:41:04 AM): about what we had cause I did
ShaverRob (9:42:29 AM): hello?
RedHerring1029 (9:42:32 AM): you just said you never loved me at all, how can you say that and then say you cared about us?
ShaverRob (9:43:20 AM): u can care about people in different ways than loving them, Tommy, u know that
RedHerring1029 (9:44:15 AM): well what does it matter anyway. it turns out it was a huge waste of time for both of us
ShaverRob (9:44:28 AM): no it wasnt
ShaverRob (9:44:37 AM): it was good while it lasted
ShaverRob (9:45:04 AM): it helped us through our first year, althou we're over that now
RedHerring1029 (9:45:24 AM): we needed help?
ShaverRob (9:45:40 AM): help is always good
ShaverRob (9:46:27 AM): do u agree?
RedHerring1029 (9:46:59 AM): i dont know
ShaverRob (9:48:01 AM): I think u should look back on it a little more positivley, as there was a lot of good there
ShaverRob (9:48:24 AM): just remeber that were beyond needing it now
ShaverRob (9:49:05 AM): we=we're
ShaverRob (9:49:10 AM): sorry
ShaverRob (9:49:49 AM): your not balling your eyes out over there are u?
RedHerring1029 (9:49:56 AM): no
ShaverRob (9:50:03 AM): ok good
ShaverRob (9:50:40 AM): so anything else u think should be said
RedHerring1029 (9:52:14 AM): not really. still hate you a bit and it sounds like you hate me too, which is prolly healthy for you. i still dont buy some of your thinking and you dont buy some of mine, which is ok
ShaverRob (9:52:47 AM): great this was good
RedHerring1029 (10:02:55 AM): oh, and did you tell chris to "have the decency to stay away from her for a while"?
ShaverRob (10:04:44 AM): not in those words but after we broke up I asked him not to pounce on u immediatley as I thought he would, cause that mnight have hurt me
RedHerring1029 (10:04:59 AM): hmm ok
ShaverRob (10:05:10 AM): did he tell u that
RedHerring1029 (10:05:14 AM): yes
ShaverRob (10:06:23 AM): what else did he say
RedHerring1029 (10:06:35 AM): a lot of stuff and it was between him and me
ShaverRob (10:06:41 AM): ok
RedHerring1029 (10:08:00 AM): im going to go now
ShaverRob (10:08:14 AM): ok talk to u later
“ShaverRob” signed off at 10:08:17 AM.